03 May 2017
Is the Scale Weighing Down Your Sex Life?
I’m finishing up my work with my first Fit, Fabulous and Fierce over 40 group soon. These ladies have done some heroic work around their weight and letting go of things and thoughts that no longer serve them.
One of the participants, Kim, and her husband have been married for 25 years. She’s gained about 20 lbs over the last few years and hasn’t been able to lose it on her own even though she’s tried different things. She shared with me that her biggest fear around this weight gain is that she is no longer desirable to her husband. She is embarrassed that she “is a fat ass.”
Mind you… her HUSBAND has never said a word about this. The only voices she is hearing are her inner mean girls.
We got into a conversation about her sex life on our very first call. And as it turns out, her drive is higher than her husband’s…. and his is exactly the same as it was on the day they got married. Kim created this story to beat herself up about her weight, explain away her conflicted feelings about the mismatch in their levels of desire and give the mean girls fuel for the fire.
Once she could see this “fact” as the lie it was, things started to turn around immediately.
She and her husband went camping on a marriage retreat and were able to reconnect… AND she lost 4 lbs the next week. The only “truth” here was that her THOUGHTS were affecting was her ability to show up fully and enjoy some good sex when the opportunity presented itself!
Now, 5 weeks later, her thinking runs more along the lines of, “Wow, I’ve been mean to my body for so long! What if I loved on it instead?” That means allowing pleasure back in her life, creating a different relationship with movement, decluttering her life, and learning how to listen to her body’s signals by slowing… the… heck …down! She sees that expressing gratitude for her body is a much easier road to weight loss than letting the mean girls run the show (not to mention what it does for her cortisol!).
The bottom line is this. Thoughts are not facts. Even the ones that tell you they are. The next time you find yourself going down a rabbit hole of self-destructive thinking, ask yourself who you would be without that thought. How would your life be different? Are you ready to get out of that “dirty diaper” and get on with your life?
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If you’d like to learn more about Fit, Fabulous and Fierce over 40 or the BARE process of weight loss, click here.
Dr. Anna Garrett is a menopause expert and Doctor of Pharmacy. She helps women who are struggling with symptoms of perimenopause and menopause find natural hormone balancing solutions so they can rock their mojo through midlife and beyond. Her clients would tell you that her real gift is helping them reclaim parts of themselves they thought were gone forever.
Find out more about working with her at http://www.drannagarrett.com/work-with-me/.