27 Mar 2014
Are You Shoulding all Over Yourself??
“I should have a salad for dinner.”
“I shouldn’t eat this chocolate.”
“I should clean my house.”
“I shouldn’t get a new car. This one still runs.”
How do you feel when you say “I should really start exercising more” or “I should have a salad”? Excited? Motivated?
Or more like… blah? All those shoulds sure make me feel that way!
Over the years, I’ve learned that when I tell myself that I should do something, it’s a signal to pay attention. And ask myself some questions.
- Is the “should” thing important to me? If this is a “yes”, I continue to #2. If the answer is no, it’s a NO.
- Does it align with my current priorities? If this is a “no”, it goes in my personal parking lot. Everything can’t be a yes at once! If the answer is yes, I move to #3.
- Do I really want to do that “should” thing? If the answer is truly no here, the discussion is over. If I’m just having an “I don’t feel like it right now” moment that doesn’t feel like a HELL NO, I begin. One small step (like writing the first few lines of the first paragraph of my newsletter) is usually enough to get me going.
Learning to do this requires that you have clarity about your priorities and what’s really important to you.
And to have clarity, you need stillness.
Here’s your homework:
Take some time in the coming week to be still and get clear on your Absolute Yesses (no more than 3-4, please). Absolute Yesses are those things that are highest priority in your life right now.
Practice saying NO to requests or thoughts that feel like “shoulds”, but don’t align with what you’re wanting. NO is a perfect one-word sentence! This is a skill that takes a little practice….but it gets a whole lot easier the more you do it!
About Dr. Anna
Dr. Anna Garrett is a pharmacist and menopause expert who helps women who are struggling with symptoms of perimenopause and menopause find natural hormone balancing solutions so they can rock their mojo through midlife and beyond. But her clients would tell you that her real gift is helping them reclaim pieces of themselves they thought were gone forever.
Dr. Anna offers a complimentary 30-minute Get Acquainted Call to anyone who’d like to learn more about working 1-1 with her. You can schedule that at your convenience by clicking here.
Please email firstname.lastname@example.org for more info.